Embracing & Letting Go
Photo by Drew Coffman on Unsplash
Hey there! Gather ‘round because we are talking about embracing your wellness even when it means letting things go here at The Well Family Spot blog. In the previous blogpost, I described toxic stress and how it affects various areas of our functioning. While we can’t control everything that happens to us, or can’t understand how it affects us, once our eyes are opened to things, we can’t unsee it and we have to DO something.
One of my favorite books is Shonda Rhimes’ The Year of Yes. In the book, Rhimes talks about how she made this pivotal decision one year to say yes to things that scared her. There were many amazing things in the book that she discusses that she said yes to, but one of them that I always recall was saying yes to her health. In saying that, she was also simultaneously agreeing to give up some things as well. She gave up eating habits that weren’t promoting her health, and embraced a new lifestyle that worked for her. Saying “yes” to her health meant saying “bye” to a few things.
So what are you willing to say “bye” to in order to make room for some new things in your life? What are you making room for?
Make yourself a list (I feel like writing things down is almost always the best first step to getting things out of your head and ready to sort through). What are the things that you really want in your life? Try to make these as basic and concrete as possible. We all want peace (or, at least I hope we all do!). But what would peace look like for you and what is the current source of your lack of it? Where do you feel the most peace and with whom? Remember, sometimes the people that are the closest to you can also be the most toxic barriers to your peace. I am not suggesting you just cut people off. Not really, anyway. I am just saying that just because a person is a family member or a long-time friend doesn’t mean you have to endure the distress they bring into your life. Saying “yes” to your peace may mean saying “bye” to them except on major holidays or birthdays. Are you ready to do that?
If the year 2020 taught us nothing else, it definitely taught us that life can change in the blink of an eye. If you woke up tomorrow and were the best version of yourself, but nothing about anyone else changed, what would be different about your life?
How would YOU be different?
Who would be with you?
Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes can become a lifestyle change if we let it. And the more we make room for the things that scare us AND help us grow at the same time, the more we can let go of things that want us to be stagnant, fearful, and resistant to change. It’s the skill of embracing while letting go.
Embrace relationships that celebrate you and remind you of all of what you are capable of even when you lose sight of it. Let go of those that only want to remind you of what you were, what you can’t, or shouldn’t do.
Embrace behaviors that increase your ability to cope with stress in a healthy way and let go of those that you use to just numb your emotional pain.
Embrace positive opportunities that come your way with the belief that you have worked hard and whatever you think you don’t know how to do, you will learn! Let go of self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
Remember, our emotional wellness is just as much about what we let go, and what we make room for. Let’s continue to embrace what makes us well…together.
