Practicing Gratitude in the Midst of Chaos

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Hey there! Gather ‘round because we are talking about how gratitude is more than just a buzz phrase for this time of year, but can also help you cope with a time that may be filled with mixed emotions. 

Gratitude is a popular term during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving most years. We are encouraged by commercials, online ads, and those around us to be grateful and reflect on the people and things that bring us joy and solace. Many people look forward to the large gatherings, the big sales, and being with those we love. Gratitude is a practically a mandate, especially in November. 

But let’s be real. This isn’t an ordinary November. As I write this post, the current loss of life due to the coronavirus is over 246,000 people. The total number of cases the United States have confirmed is over 11 million. Worldwide, 1.3 million people have died from coronavirus. As a result of the global pandemic, many people will not gather together in the typical in-person gatherings. The office holiday parties, holiday shopping, and family gatherings to celebrate will likely either look totally different this year…or not happen at all. In addition to that, the social/political climate in the US and the many losses of jobs and stability have created more anxiety and unpredictability in a way that many have not seen in decades in our nation. And if we are being honest, for some people, the holiday season may have been a difficult time even BEFORE covid-19. For some, this time may be one of dread because of memories of lost loved ones, feelings of loneliness, or disappointment if your year’s goals were not fully realized. In those moments of stillness during times like these, it is difficult to even consider gratitude. The sadness, regret, and overwhelm can take up a lot of headspace. It’s all too much, right?!

So how can we find gratitude in the midst of the chaos of 2020? And why is this so important? Gratitude is just as much a practice as it is a feeling. We can feel grateful about our village of people or the things we feel we’ve been blessed with. But the practice of gratitude is an active process that may actually help create balance to your emotional experience during these challenging, unpredictable times. It is an intentional behavior that you can make a part of your daily routine. And to be clear, practicing gratitude is NOT about negating feelings of loss, sadness, anxiety, etc. In fact, trying to push feelings away is a surefire way for them to remain intact longer or intensify even more.

The practice of gratitude is more about creating balance in your emotional experience. It helps you to stay in the moment- a critical element of reducing stress. If I take a 5 min window of my day to just write down what I am grateful for, my mind is focusing on accomplishing that task, and not on all the other things that are going on. It’s not going to solve all my problems or make me less affected by them. But at least for just a few moments, I can get relief. And this doesn’t have to be super fancy or poetic. It’s literally just identifying a few things you are authentically grateful for in that moment. And it can be small things (e.g., you woke up this morning, the Zoom meeting was cancelled, etc.)

So, I mentioned that practicing gratitude may help to keep you focused on the present moment and things that are happening right now. But what other benefits are there to this practice?

Gratitude helps to shift your perspective: Remaining present is one benefit, but with daily practice, it may become easier to identify what you are thankful for. The more you engage in this practice, not only does it get easier, but you may find yourself noticing things to be grateful for more often. Each day becomes a gentle nudge down a road of noticing the bright spots. Bright spots don’t exist without darkness. But one shouldn’t ONLY see darkness. We can have both. Which brings me to my next point….

Gratitude instills hope and/or a sense of control: If we pursue gratitude with a sense of urgency, the reward is an increased sense of hope and belief that in the midst of chaos and even trauma, we are capable of being present and finding light in dark moments. I’ll use myself as an example here….

Click here for my introduction post.

This is what I mean about how gratitude brings along hope with it. A small moment of being thankful for XYZ can give you that small glimmer of hope (or light) when you’re in a dark place. And hope doesn’t take away the pain, sorrow, or distress you are feeling right now. But it does remind you of what control you still have in a world that feels so out of control and unfair. What I could control in that moment was those candies on the screen. I could focus my energy there in a healthy escape- even if just for a moment. 

So let’s try this. For the next few days, set aside 5 min just to write down what you are grateful for. If you have a hard time thinking of something, consider being grateful that you have the ability contemplate the question in the first place. And don’t give up. Day 1 may be only 1 item. That’s okay. Keep going the next day. Keep considering the things that hide in plain sight, like the ability to breathe, to get around, to learn. And try the printable here to help guide you along. 

Let’s keep talking about this at The Well Family Spot. We can get through this holiday season while continuing to pursue our emotional wellness. Let’s continue to get and stay well (with gratitude)…together.